What is an Emo?
Emo (from dictionary.com)
– a person who is overly sensitive and full of angst or adopts a certain style characterized by dyedblack hair, tight t-shirts and jeans, etc.
– Shortened from Emocore, a type of music combining traditional hard rock with personal and emotional lyrics
In short, Emo is short for the adjective emotional. So when I become emotional does it mean I am Emo? Is it not good to be Emo? When I become an Emo, is it necessary to commit suicide? So many questions about being Emo. But one thing is certain, Being Emo isn’t bad at all.
A friend texted me earlier stating that he hasn’t moved on after breaking up with my bestfriend and that he still has feelings for my bestfriend getting deeper and deeper everyday. He even stated he still visits my bestfriend’s Facebook page and start being emotional after viewing their pictures when they were still together. I told him I felt what he was feeling, and not to worry because he will find someone for him soon. Then I gave him advice. Well, I must confess, I am an Emo myself that’s why I was able to easily understand what he was feeling, and I am not ashamed to tell everyone. Being Emo is not just about having that Emo hairstyle or attempting to commit suicide, it is about being emotional itself. The fact that you show your true emotions is a brave act. Not all people have the guts to show what they really feel, they hide inside themselves trying to cover what they feel and pretend to be someone else just to show the world they are feeling okay. But that’s not how life should be. We should be real and show people how we are. Being emotional doesn’t mean you’re weak, showing true emotions doesn’t mean you don’t have the capacity to be sturdy. For me, Being an Emo is the process of releasing a certain bad or heavy feeling you have inside your heart and release it by showing your real emotions, because I believe prolonging your agony and saving up all those heavy feeling inside your heart is very dangerous that’s why other people have the option to isolate themselves and feel alone, and unfortunately some choose to be suicidal.
I always end up doing things, I call the Process of Healing, to release this negative feeling I have in my heart and feel better. When I see someone become emotional, honestly, I can feel the pain that they are going through. It’s like I can read what’s inside their hearts, and I want to approach them and comfort them. I want to be a helpful hand to them. It breaks my heart to hear people committing suicide because of too much depression and I feel bad that I wasn’t able to help these people save themselves. And it’s sad that there are a lot more Emos out there that I am unable to reach and still they carry that certain burden in their lives and isolate themselves and still not get better. Hopefully this blog entry would help you Emos out there feel better, as I also follow these steps of Process of Healing to get back on track.
Other than anything else, whenever you feel bad, this is the first thing you should do, to cry. Don’t let all the burden and grudges add up to your heart and then feel bad afterwards. Burdens adding up inside your heart is heavy, really heavy, and it causes too much emotional pain. I have experienced before that whenever I feel bad, I should cover up and pretend to be happy. But then, I felt that there was this heavy load in my heart that I need to release, and then everything went worse that I started feeling isolated, I started to overthink and be moody. Yes, it’s effective for a while but time will go by that you realize your heart is starting to feel too much pain and you will just burst out in tears and start to make decisions out of what you feel (e.g. suicide). Crying is one way to make your heart feel better, it is healthy for the heart. It is one way to convert all that heavy burdens you are carrying from your heart to tears, it will run through your veins and go out of your eyes as tears. It is a wonderful feeling to cry, no other comfort from other people is the best from crying, it is immeasurable. Don’t be afraid to cry, you might think that it’s a girly thing to cry and that boys don’t cry, but remember we don’t have eyes just to see, but also to cry. Crying is not a form of weakness. As a human beings we are expected to be immune and strong so it takes a lot of guts for a person to cry. It’s not necessary to cry in public, you can cry in your room, or somewhere your mom or your bestfriend can comfort you while crying as well. You will realize, that in every tear you shed as you cry, you also throw and wipe away every single pain, hatred and burden that you kept in your heart and everything will be replaced with comfort and happiness you heart deserves.
2. Listen to Sad Music
A lot of people think that listening to sad music isn’t helpful, that’s wrong. Music nowadays are more of dance pop and mainstream rock songs, that we forget to realize there are songs under these genres that can help a lonely soul feel better. For me, in every song, there is a certain force or vibe that gets transferred to it’s listeners and will either make them feel better or vulnerable. And take note of this, the aim of the song writers creating sad songs is not to break your hearts, but to fill in a piece in your heart that’s empty and make you feel whole that after all the heartache, there is hope. I personally choose songs I listen to when I feel sad, because I believe that listening to music should not be dictated, there should be a connection between you and that song, you should let the song hold your heart, let the song fix and asses your heart so that when you listen to this certain song over and over the again, the part of your heart that is being held by this song will be fixed, thus making you feel better. It is also best to cry while listening to music, it’s like the melody is comforting you and hugs you when you need one. While the music goes on, the pain will also dance to the beat of music going out to your eyes as tears, you will feel that tension in your heart and I tell you, it’s a remarkable feeling. Music is not just there to make you sing and dance, rather it is there to describe you emotions through an artistic manner and bringing you happiness as you feel the emptiness in your heart.
3. Talk to People
You are never alone. As I stated earlier, people tend to think they are alone during tough times because they chose to isolate themselves rather than approach anyone to help them. That’s one misconception when someone gets emotional, they always think that people should automatically notice, understand and approach them, when in reality, these people should be the one doing these. I know It’s a hard feeling to approach people when you’re down, but I tell you I’ve bee there, and you just have to ignore that feeling of shame to go to people and ask for help because that’s what you really need. It’s like you’re helping yourself as well. Yes, other people may have their own lives and can not prioritize you, but come on, there are a lot of people around you, and I believe you don’t just have one friend right? You have a family, high school friends, college friends, neighbor friends, text mates, Facebook friends, how come you’re alone? During these tough times is the time you mostly need people around you, don’t push them away. Accept advice and criticisms, they will be helpful to better yourself. Swallow pride, it will not make you feel better and it will not help you anyway. Start talking to them, share your thoughts so that they can tell you what they think about that and can correct them. Do not hide everything in your mind and heart, instead tell it to someone so that the burden will be released from you heart. Don’t let your heart carry everything, do not torture your heart, instead have someone to help you carry your burden and they will help lighten what you are feeling. Start approaching, talking and sharing, have a social life. You are not born to have a wall beside you instead choose a friend you can lean to and who will be there for you through ups and downs.
4. Go Out and SPEND
Yes, you are not born to be beside walls, you are also born to explore the world. The world is so big and it is not just enclosed to the four corners of you room. One reason you feel alone is also because you chose to hide inside your room/house. Go out and enjoy life. It’s not necessary to go out and ask a lot of people to come with you. It’s okay if someone will go with you but it’s also okay if you will go out alone. I usually go out on my own, I appreciate the silence and how I can maximize the time I have for myself so that I can enjoy every second learning to appreciate simple stuff. You’d also realize a lot of things during that silence that there are things in life you forget to appreciate and be thankful for and that there are other people who has bigger problems than what you have and you’ll end up realizing that what you feel is just nothing compared to others who are dying in pain due to hunger or probably Cancer. Going out would also let you enjoy what you have around you. Go to malls or amusement parks. Try dining to fancy restaurants, even fastfood chains will do, you can even try ordering a happy meal if you like just for a change and for the sake of having fun. Go out of your comfort zone and think out of the box, be limitless. Don’t limit yourself to what you have at home, instead go out and be free. The world has a lot to give you rather than what you have at home or inside your room. Life is so beautiful that you will miss half of your life if you won’t take advantage of the most wonderful things the world could offer you. Don’t hesitate to go out and enjoy the adventures the world has prepared for you.
5. Better Yourself
Lastly, better yourself, or like what a special someone told me, love yourself. We should never forget to prioritize ourselves. After crying, I usually look at myself in the mirror and realize how disgusting I look after crying. So I make sure that I have cried everything I have so that the next time I cry, I would look better. haha. But seriously I believe that when you start to look or feel bad, (e.g. having a lot of pimples, wrinkles, eyebags, dry skin, ugly clothing, illness), you don’t love yourself. If you start to become engulfed by too much drama, you start to forget that you have to take care of yourself. No one will prioritize you best but yourself. Make sure to get a hold of yourself and start picking up the pieces to complete yourself because breaking yourself to pieces without trying to put them back together will result to making these pieces break into smaller pieces, making it harder to put yourself back again, prolonging your agony. If you start to better yourself, you also start to attract positive energy in you life. Start by sleeping regularly on time. I know that during this time of pain, it is really hard to sleep because of the flow of thoughts running through you mind, but try to relax your mind, your heart and your body so that you could get a good rest. Having a good sleep will result to a more positive day as you wake up. Also make sure to dress properly, try to experiment on a new look, and always smile. Loving yourself is not actually measured by the clothes you wear or what people see physically, yes it is a part, but ultimately you should start assessing yourself and see which part of your life did you lack in taking care of yourself. Always have time for yourself, rest if you feel tired, make sure to manage time properly and never rush into things. Always remember that we are given to live this life once, never waste it. Enjoy life and at the same time be productive. We are not here to live in despair rather to live in a world full of love and made by love.
Some people may think that this is crazy, but I call it Healing. It’s effective for me and I am sharing it to the world so that these Emos like me would realize that it’s not yet the end of the world for them. This might also be helpful not only to Emos, but to simple people who are experiencing difficulties in life. Yes, life is very challenging, very hard and very demanding but I want you all to remember that life is amazing, wonderful and brilliant. There may be hard times but always remember that these challenges are here to test us and make us a better person. Imagine, if you can’t even stand the smallest test of life, how can you surpass the big ones? We are being prepared to face tougher challenges as we go on through life. And in every test, I want you to know, you are not alone and you are not the only one experiencing too much pain. Don’t carry all the burden in the world. If you don’t have anywhere to go, remember that there is God, who is waiting for you, and eventually He will lift every pain that you have to make you feel better.
Life is not just about the good things happening around, but it is a combination of challenges, hardships, struggles, and victories. Never give up on living your life, be emotional but make sure to be optimistic as well. Never waste your life and never regret that you lived. Be thankful, you were chosen to live and be excited to learn what your purpose in life is. Life is a string of surprises, be ready, be prepared. Don’t be left inside that box, instead go out and discover your destiny. 🙂