Another year has begun and another New Year’s resolution has to be made. What I like about New Years is that it gives people the opportunity to have a new beginning, a fresh new start with their lives. A way to throw away the negativity and welcome a new chapter, a positive new beginning in our lives. And with this new year 2014, I chose to stay positive and stop being very judgmental to people and in every situation I’m in.
Discovering What’s Wrong
I really didn’t think I was really judgmental towards people. I was always positive, and when people do things that are really unacceptable, I just turned my head away and focus on another thing, since I didn’t want to witness anything bad happening. I used to focus myself to what was good, positive and acceptable. Then I started working, I experienced stress, I experienced bullying, all the negativity I was trying to avoid and I came in to a point that I want to release stress and I found myself judging people, trashing the bad things they do and make fun of others. I became the monster I was afraid to be. Until I realized, some of my friends start to tell me that I am being too judgmental, and in return, I became in denial, because I know for a fact that I was not. Yes, I was denying that I judge people too much, it was my defense mechanism, my absolute reaction. I believed what was not true anymore. I’m not the person I used to be.
The Monster In Me
Stress, sleep deprived, financially unstable and bullied, I think, were the best reasons a person changes, and I was once their victim. I found myself fighting with my clients, with my friends and even with my loved ones.I start to suspect them of what they are doing, if it’s against me, I started to listen to rumors, I started to believe what people say against others, I started to doubt people’s intentions and became someone pretentious, silent, but deadly, the one who always sits in the back, alone, but in the back of my mind were stories, compiled from one person to another that made me trust no one. I had trust issues with others, it was hard for me to trust people, I was afraid of what they might think about me. I was afraid of the negative things they might think, since I was judgmental, I didn’t want people to judge me the way I judged them, so the best thing to do was for me to isolate myself. I made few friends, but I was satisfied. We had common interests, and that was to make fun of people.
I learned that it was wrong, I’m not in a good place. I needed to change. But then I realized, all these things that I experienced opened my eyes, that in everything that’s happening, there are always two sides of the story. That’s when I realized that I should always give the benefit of the doubt. Nothing is true unless proven, and that as humans, we don’t have the right to judge someone immediately because of someone’s actions or doings. I realized, yes, we are a free country and we have freedom of speech, but are we going over our limits? Not everything we see or hear is true, they might have been altered or exaggerated. We must learn first to listen to both sides of the story before we judge. We should learn to listen and be open-minded. Not every rumor is true, and we should reserve our ideas and thoughts for the right time, for who knows, we might hurt someone for a single word we say. I also learned one valuable thing, to choose your friends. Being silent kept me away from those people who judge a lot and made me close to those friends, that taught me what was right, those who corrected me and made me realize that I was going too far. Learn to say no, and not every enticing invitation must be responded with a “yes”. Make your “yes” so valuable that people will have to prove themselves worthy of it first.
This year I really promise myself that I will have a healthier mind, more positivity and open-mindedness. I learned that there will be a positive side and a negative side to each story and to never judge someone according to their acts, always be an observant and be neutral in everything, especially with your friends. And the most important thing is to choose your friends wisely, learn to entrust someone your thoughts and always have the benefit of the doubt. I always think that, how would the world look if we all had a positive mind and open-minded personality? The world would have been a better place. But why the rush, I can start with myself, and I hope I can influence people to change, too. And this small change can at least help people realize how important it is to choose what to say and be careful on what to think about others. Well, a little change won’t hurt. Anyway, the only constant thing in the world is change, right? Change for the better, one step at a time, it’s what the world needs, the world needs YOU. 🙂