The Great Unknown

I always hear people say “Don’t be afraid of the unknown”. I didn’t get what they mean, until today.

The past two years have really been a great challenge for me. There’s been tests on relationships, finances, politics, health, even on social media, the list will just go on. Every day seems to be a test, and it won’t stop. When things seem to be calm, something will come up that will disrupt your mind, it’s insane. It’s like the world is playing your head, that it wants to make sure that you’re preoccupied on something or that you’re worrying a lot. And I’m tired of that, I just want to live happily like everybody else.

This year, the world world was struck by the COVID-19 pandemic. Everybody is affected, young and old, rich or poor, employees or entrepreneurs, name it. In a way, everybody’s lives changed since this pandemic started. And I was just cool with it at first. I thought maybe this is what the world needed, a cleansing from pollution we created. Numbers of people dying then started to go high, establishments closed, employees losing jobs, people losing sources of income. It was a disaster. People were dying because of the illness, but some are dying because of hunger and homelessness. And I’m one of those people luckily sitting at home, working from home, resting when I needed and still have a lot of food to eat. I thought, I was blessed because I have everything I needed. I’m not scared because I know I am secure.

It’s actually easier to Work from Home (WFH), it’s something I hoped for, for every job I had. You don’t have to experience the struggle of coming in to work, standing in line for an hour, squeezing yourself inside an overloaded train, standing in the middle of the highway with hundreds of people just to wait for one bus to pick everyone up, or waiting for an hour for a jeepney to come. It was hell. Whether you work nightshifts or regular schedules, commuting was a nightmare. I’ve been working in Makati for two years now and it hasn’t changed since 2010. Such a disgrace. So when we were given the opportunity to do WFH, I was really pumped, I don’t have to stress myself anymore. I get to be paid, working while I’m home, not needing to endure the stress of commute, it was a dream come true.I have been telling people, even before this pandemic, that WFH is definitely the solution of this crazy traffic in the metro. Everything’s almost the same, I’ve been still very productive and efficient as I was in the office, of course I didn’t want to let the management think that WFH was a disadvantage so I really needed to surpass what I did in the office, and I think I did. It was more convenient editing videos, internet was A LOT faster, no stress because you don’t feel the pressure, you’re just right at home, and overtime wasn’t painful because you’re also relaxing at home while still doing work. Now that’s what I call heaven!

So when I said some businesses were closing and employees were losing jobs, I didn’t say that the company I am working for is an exception, we weren’t. Sad news came that for our company to continue operating, and instead of laying off employees, they have to cut down our salary up to 50%. And sadly, the nightmare that I thought was long gone came back, but it was different. All of a sudden, I wanted the stress of commuting to come back, instead of having the stress of financial losses. Hearing this news was a disaster because I am one of those people who rely on their work, to get paid, and to pay the bills. The only 50% off I want is on my shopping list, not on my paycheck, and that’s really insane! I don’t have any sidelines, I don’t have any part-time jobs, I don’t have insurance, I don’t have investments, heck I don’t even have an HMO. So what will happen to me? I am worried about my colleagues, too, because I know this is their only source of income, but I worry about myself, too. Will I still be able to pay our bills? Will I still be able to save up for my future? Will I still be able to provide for myself and my family? Since I have less income, how will I divide finances with my partner? In the event of an illness, will I be able to pay it off? If there’s an emergency, do I have enough funds to pay for it? What if we ran out of food, do I have enough budget to go to the grocery? Ah, then it hit me, so this is the fear of the “unknown”.

When someone opens up about their problems, I always say “Let’s cross the bridge when we get there.” But with my situation now, I may not be able to even reach the bridge. So I kept asking myself, what did I do wrong? Did I choose the wrong company? Did I neglect my needs on investment? Was I negligent to even think about my future? Was I too irresponsible with my finances? Well I guess I did, who else am I going to blame, right? But blaming won’t really solve the matter, even regrets won’t turn back time or pay my bills. I really feel sad, I do. Sometimes I want to cry because I know, companies today are not really hiring people that much, it means there are less opportunities to be employed or find other options for financial stability. This pandemic did really hit hard, it’s hard to go out, it’s hard to find a job, it’s hard to find opportunities, which means you are stuck with where you are. It feels hopeless really. And most of the time, I just feel that there’s no future ahead of me in this pandemic. It’s tragic.

So how do I change my future? Well, the future is always uncertain. Whatever happens then, is the result of your actions now. Will you just put your guard down and give up, or will you stand up and do something? This trying time made me think and reflect on what I can do to better my future, instead of just contemplating on what I did in the past. And I have to act now, or else everything else will fall apart. The future is uncertain, it’s true, that’s the great unknown. You fear the unknown because you don’t know what’s ahead, but the real fear is the fear of instability, the fear of losing your job, losing your loved ones, and so on. I think it’s time to see the “unknown” as an advantage, you don’t know yet what’s coming, so be prepared. Do something about it. The future is not yet stated, and you can still change it, be the best of what you can be. Do what you love, start writing, start making vlogs, practice what you’ve been longing for, maximize the internet, it’s what we have now most of the time this pandemic. And your mind and creativity is the limit. Do something that your heart desires, and there will be no regrets, because it’s not what you wanted, not what the society has dictated. I guess the main thing that this pandemic has taught me is that we should start doing what we desire so that in the future, when we look back, we know that we did all we can to be happy and and use it as your driving force to fight for your dreams.

Maybe you don’t really have to cross the bridge when you get there, you just have to find your path to the bridge first so you can cross, right? And maybe find other means to cross to the other side. It’s not always the bridge you need, but yourself. And you control your capabilities on “how to cross a bridge”. And that “path” or “other means” represent many things, it may be your skills, encouragement from people around you, the internet, your ideas, or maybe your heart. Who knows. The world is changing, and everything in it is evolving. And who knows what lies in the future? Nobody does. You have to live in the present, what can you do to make today worth it so that your future is something you wanted? Take the risk, take chances, never miss an opportunity, it will change the course of your life forever. Start today and don’t be afraid to make mistakes, everybody has to start somewhere, you have to make your first step so you can reach your destination.

2017: A Year to Discover

The lights in my room were weak and dying. I suffered for so many months trying to cope with the lights in my room. I thought I could make it, that I can manage. But in reality I can’t. So when it was time to move on, when there was a chance to change the lights, I grabbed it. Then my life was changed, it was never the same. A little overacting, but it’s true. With a brighter light, I discovered a lot of things in my room, how dirty it was and how it needs to be cleaned. That’s when I realized that, I, myself, needs a change in my own light to have a different perspective in life.

2016 has been really really rough. There were a lot of tragedies, pain, drastic changes, international conflicts, flop music releases, death of amazing people, the list will go on. If I can describe 2016 in one word: SCARY. On a personal level, 2016 is really scary, and tough at the same time. It was a year of heartaches, struggles, financial instability, it was definitely a crazy year. It was unforgettable, but it was also really painful.

Yes, just like the lights in my room, my hope in life was weak and dying. I felt like it was the end of me, like I was gonna be nowhere. I didn’t have a chance to grieve, life had to move on. Life was fast paced and I had to follow. But it was hard to walk to the path of life when your light is dim, I was getting lost, but it was also my own choice. I just wanted to be in a dark path because I just wanted to cover the pain, and maybe in the end I would be better. Still, I wasn’t. Hiding in the dark didn’t help. Then I decided to face my fears, the cause of my pain, and had the courage to change the “light” in my life. And there, I realized that during these period of hiding, I was ruined, and that I didn’t realize that there were a lot of blessings that went in my way. It was all a matter of opening my eyes and changing my perspective in life. Very cliché, but it is true.

It was supposed to be a happy year. I was grabbing all the opportunities that came my way, all the blessings. But I forgot to enjoy what I have, to seize the moment. When I changed the lights, that’s when I saw how beautiful everything I had and that I have to start from scratch to fix everything. It was a poopy year, definitely, but we must not forget that there were a lot of blessings, too. There were amazing movies, beautiful music, wonderful changes in politics, powerful international connections and ties, eye-opening unity, there were a lot of things to be thankful for. Same goes with me, I still have school, I was able to save money, make new friends, received new “toys”, I was able to fulfill my goals this year. There were a lot of things to celebrate, and it is never too late.

The lights in my room are, still, gonna be weak and will die soon. But it’s always a matter of prevention, never dwell and let your body stay in a stagnant state. MOVE. 2016 was a year of opportunities, and I believe that 2017 is gonna be a year of discovery, a discovery of fruitfulness, success and amazing changes. 2016 shook our lives, and 2017 will show the results of all the hardwork we’ve done. Look forward and be ready, the previous year was definitely painful, but I say to you, there is still hope. 2017 is a year not just for a new calendar, rather for you to start over and leave all the bad things behind. Do not be afraid to begin again, be strong, and together we will move forward. HAPPY NEW YEAR! 🙂

 

The Art Of Moving On: The Playlist

               In every episode of our lives, we always dedicate a song to it, most probably a theme song. Admit it, our lives are living musicals, where every aspects of our lives are theatrical pieces put together to make a beautiful story. Part of this, of course, is the story of heartbreak. Every moment of it , from the fall, to the enduring stage and up to the actual moving on phase, we incorporate songs to describe what we feel and use it as a guide on finding ourselves again.

               Every song, each lyric, they represent us, our emotions. The songs don’t only play a melody or sing lyrics, rather they express our life, they project what we are experiencing in a specific moment. It lives, it has an identity in our lives and these songs are our ally in coping up and, to try to forget and be confident. These powerful songs are meant to inspire and open minds, some will make us cry to make us release the emotions we’ve been keeping in our hearts, and most of them help us celebrate freedom and liberty, a true reflection of how we should stand, how we should endure the pain of heartbreak. Listed below are my top picks in this musical called “Heartbreak”, and how they can inspire you to overcome and be strong.

Anything by Hedley
“Everybody said boy, “Don’t go any higher!”, (uh-huh), f*ck that! I can do Anything!”
               As the song says, “I can do Anything!”. You are in control of your life now, and you can “shove it in their faces” that you don’t need anyone’s approval to succeed and conquer the world. This song tells us to push the limits and take everyone by surprise that you can do anything, and that even when you’re alone, you can do whatever you want. Follow your heart, play with fire and be a rock star! F*ck them, you can do anything!

Confident by Demi Lovato
“I’m the boss right now… This is my game, and you better come to play”
               Are you ready to be the ringleader? The boss? The center of attention? Well this song is perfect if you wish to be “Confident”, well overconfidence that is. “What’s wrong with being confident?” as the song says, I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with it. This song definitely teaches us to be confident with ourselves, with our mind and  body. Be comfortable with how you look, how people see you and your outlook in life. Confidence isn’t about being boastful, rather it is about taking pride that you live, and you don’t live to please people, rather to accomplish your dreams, your goals, and again there’s nothing wrong with it. The first step is confidence, and you can do anything.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy
“Thanks for the memories, even though they weren’t so great…”
               Yes, Fall Out Boy must be in this list. It isn’t a playlist about moving on without them. This song has been my anthem of moving on ever since, it never gets old. I love how their message is still there even after these years. Definitely, those memories you had with your special someone is something memorable, they weren’t so great but you don’t want to live with it again. What’s done is done. This song boasts sarcasm all over, saying “if you think I want you back? You’re wrong, leave it all to your beautiful memory”. As the song says, we should look forward to the future, “the past is cloudy”, it shouldn’t be looked back. Move forward, even though the past was so great, the future will be greater.

‘Til It’s Gone by Britney Spears
“You never know what you got ‘Til its gone..”
               Admit it, as much as you want to be strong and move one, there will be moments you will remember and miss that someone you used to be “special” with. The song, however, is an irony. It is a celebration of heartbreak. The song isn’t sad, but it tells a tale of how she undergone heartbreak, how her eyes resemble rain for crying, how she is crazy and can’t be “confined in a cage”, the song is definitely the roller coaster of emotions during heartbreak. She contemplates that she can’t let go, but she also questions why her heart was broken. The confusion stage is normal and this song definitely describes it. You really never know what you have ’til it’s gone, but don’t dwell too much on heartbreak because you don’t know what you might lose more.

Same Old Love by Selena Gomez
“I’m so sick of the same old love, that sh*t it tears me up…”
               Heartbreak has different phases, and this song perfectly captures the realization phase, the part where you realize he/she wasn’t worth it. That your ex lover was just simply trash, as they never gave you value, they never showed you your worth. “You left me in pieces”, the song contemplates how selfish the ex lover was and pushes away as the singer realized that she should be treated better. It’s better to be alone than stay with someone who doesn’t value you. Yes it is painful to throw away your significant other, but are you also willing to throw away your dignity just to stay away in a one-sided relationship? Of course not, you’re worth more than that, be sick of it. Remember, trash cans exist for a purpose, to throw away garbage.

Stranger by Hilary Duff
“There’s no kindness in your eyes, the way you look at me is just not right…”
               Oh yes! This is a perfect song for all those people who were never valued, who were never given importance! This song describes every detail of how relationships fail and how that “special someone” turns into a stranger. She starts to tell from the stare of his eyes, to his actions when no one’s watching, up to how she’s treated when everyone’s watching vs. no one’s around. The song definitely shares the experience, being treated as if you’re the one, but in reality, when the curtains are down, you’re just a trophy, just a part of the game, just a companion he uses whenever it is convenient for him. “Are you scared to let them know it’s you?”, yes they are scared, because they have this “image” they maintain. You must be the one to be blamed, because they show people that they are the “perfect lover”, but their secrets are safe. Either way, they were already strangers during the relationship, and even strangers up until now.

He Wasn’t By Avril Lavigne
“He never made me feel like I was special, ‘coz I was special…”
               Songs about moving on? Yes Avril must be in it! She is definitely the princess of heartbreak as she perfectly portrays the emotions in most of her songs. This song features a young Avril, but she already knows what’s up, she already knows what she wants! She knows when someone is just playing and messing with her, and when this happens, she just lets them go because “he wasn’t what he wanted, because she is special”. I love how this song makes the listener realize the importance of self-worth, it opens our eyes and lets us see that we shouldn’t be treated like trash. When a relationship doesn’t have value, it is not worth keeping, don’t regret rather be thankful, you saved yourself from wasting time for more misery. We all have choices, and we should choose to be happy.

Liar by Britney Spears
“You know I know that you I know that you’re a Liar..”
               The title explains it all, you’re ex lover were all lies. “It’s too late for apologies”, the song says, and it is true. The damage has been done, the pain has been made, and no matter what your ex lover does, it’s not gonna be enough reason to bring back the past. “You ain’t foolin’ anyone”, as they say, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I believe in second chances, but I think it has grounds. Always bear in mind that a liar is always be a liar, as well as cheaters and heartbreakers. Yes I believe people change, but life is a cycle, they may change but they may also change back to their old ways in time. A relationship with secrets? Nah, not here for that, “I ain’t f*ckin’ with your dirty laundry”, I’m not here to play games, we’re talking about life and future here, and it should never be played. They may beg or bleed, but what’s done is done, we should never choose to be broken again.

Labels Or Love by Fergie
“I’mma shop for labels while them ladies lay and wait for love, Oh!”
               Enjoy life! This is the most important message of this song. Yes the world is cruel, but there is always a good side, and we should focus on that. In this case, the song says it is better to go shopping as a material thing has never “broken hearts”. Which is true, but of course this is a metaphor. Things you love to do won’t hurt you, rather it is a therapy, it will help you discover things and enjoy life without compromising your heart. It may be in a form of travelling, writing, watching movies, doing charity work, whatever your heart desires. Always remember that the world has a lot to offer, love is just one of them. Try to go out of your comfort zone and enjoy life, as the song says, stop chasing love and shop some more!

Stronger by Britney Spears
“Stronger than yesterday, now it’s nothing but my way..”
               This song is just as powerful as its message. It definitely celebrates independence and strength. It tells us that the past can no longer chase us, and if our ex lovers think we can’t make it? They’re wrong! “My loneliness ain’t killing me no more”, it is definitely a revolution, and no one can stop a heart looking for happiness and confidence. I am in control of my life, she sings “Here I go on my own”, it is definitely a declaration that this is the perfect time to do things on our own, never be dependent to people. Never dwell to loneliness, move and be positive, we don’t have to prove anything to anyone, but we have to continue with our lives, we have to make it, we should never go with the flow, we make our own decisions, we are the artist of this masterpiece we call life. Start taking care of yourself, they’re wrong if they think you can’t take it. Declare it, you are stronger than yesterday, and this is definitely how you will live your life, in your way!

I Don’t Need A Man by Pussycat Dolls
“I want a love that’s for real, and without that, no deal!”
               ..Or a woman, in a man’s perspective. Again, independence, we don’t need a person to complete us. How can we love another person if we don’t know how to love ourselves. Never settle for someone who doesn’t know how to value you, give importance, and is just staying for sex. This song is definitely more on self-empowerment and lets us realize that we have to let it go when it is not worthy anymore. You don’t need someone to go through life, you can make it even if you’re alone. You have family, friends, you can enjoy life without a significant other. “I don’t need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete”, a relationship should never be about finding someone to complete yourself, it is about being a complement to each other. There should be mutual understanding and must not be one-sided, don’t be afraid to break-fee, a relationship will come but for now enjoy life, and real love will come.

Ain’t It Fun by Paramore
“Don’t go crying to your mama, ‘coz you’re on your own in the real world.”
               The perfect song to end the playlist. The song is an eye-opener that the world isn’t nice, it is a cruel and messy place. But then again, it celebrates independence. “What you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?”, yes, what if the world isn’t in your hands anymore? We shouldn’t rely our lives to this world, we must know how to accept failure, pain and defeat, the only thing that we can rely on is ourselves. Without the world, it is only yourself that you have. “What you gonna do when nobody wants to fool with you?”, the songs tells us to not be depended with other people. They will come and go, and we should be prepared. Nothing lasts forever, the only forever we have is the relationship we have with ourselves. Don’t lose your identity, your self-worth, because the real world will try to destroy you. Nothing’s perfect in this world, relationships fail, economies go down, friendships end, success turns into failure, but it is never the end. Life goes on, and you are on your own, take a step forward and never be afraid. You might be alone, but there are millions out there like you making a brave step, choose life and be ready to conquer.

               Music is definitely alive, it lives in our hearts. I’m not saying this because I’m a music lover myself, but I’m sharing to all of you that music isn’t just here to let us dance, rather to help us go on with our lives and have a better outlook. Life without music is dull, every moment will be boring. I heard somewhere that music is the artistic, creative and colorful way of letting time pass, and it is true. Music is important in the healing process of broken hearts, it is the doctor, it knows where to find the pain, and it knows what to do. It’s the magic it brings that makes it effective, something unexplainable, something amazing.

               Personally, music saved me. Without music, I don’t know where I would be now, or my heart. All I know is through these years, music celebrated life with me, through happy moments, dull moments, heartbreaking moments up to triumphant ones. Music has been the shoulder I could cry on, or the friend I can relate to, or the hand I can hold on to. As much as it influenced and changed me, it will change and help you, too. To some, it may just be a simple combination of words and melody, but to many, it is a gift, a priceless one. You can never buy the healing experience that music can bring. The songs I shared may not mirror what you feel, but it’s just one thing I want to share with you, it is for you to have self-empowerment and independence. You may choose to be bitter listening to music, happy, sad, confident, or empowered, but then again, music is the universal language of the weak, in pain, celebrating people and survivors. It is in music that we become one, united by experience, and as the beat goes on, we never reach the encore, rather we create unlimited climaxes. You are your music, it describes you. This musical we call “Life” will never end, it is a cycle, it is forever, and you have the power to choose the songs to represent you, the soundtrack of your life.

The Art Of Moving On: The Formula

               It is never easy to go through a break up. You have to endure a never-ending cycle of pain everyday. An unexplainable kind of pain, going through all the vessels in your heart, as if you’re having a heart attack. How you’d wish it was really a heart attack, as it would’ve happened only once. But this pain will happen over and over again. And the main cause? Memories. It’s not cholesterol, bad diet or fatty food, it is the memories left behind and the memories of promises made never happening again. Nobody wants a heart attack, but nobody also wanted to have a heartbreak.

               They say you are not human when you don’t experience pain. It is a reminder that you live and that you should learn from pain. But nobody deserves to be hurt, then again, this isn’t a perfect world, everyone is bound to be hurt. This is the time of your life where your view of the world changes; forever doesn’t exist, people around are “snakes”, people will get rid of you when it is convenient for them, and the worst one, love isn’t true. It is hard to get through everyday, but it is also tiring to be hurt all the time. It’s a matter of perspective, on how you would use the “pain” to “gain”. Yeah, yeah, you’ll tell me it’s easy for me to say, to advice people that “it’s gonna be okay”, “you’ll get over it”, “just be positive”, but I say to you, I’m in pain, too, I endure it everyday, and yes it is definitely hard, as if no one understands you, no one knows how painful it is to be left, and move on in life without that special someone. I know what pain feels like and it is annoying, it crushes the happy moments, it turns moments into blue, as if it is never ending. But my friend, from a person in pain to another, I say this to you, it will end. Just a little more patience. And I hope, in a small way, this simple formula I made would help you guys feel better, or yet, move on.

First, and most important, it is okay to cry.
The most important because you should never contain the emotions inside your heart. Let it out. If you have to cry out loud, do so. You will explode if you don’t, I tell you, and when it happens, it’s gonna be worse. Crying helps us to at least express the pain we feel and flush it out, alleviating the burden. It’s like riding amusement park rides, you scream when you’re scared, in this case, you cry when you’re hurt. It is normal, don’t prevent yourself from doing it. It is not a sign of weakness, rather it is a sign of strength, for you are very brave for admitting pain and letting go of the emotion.

Second, listen to music that supports your emotions
If you feel like crying or you want to cry more, listen to sad music. Again, this is therapeutic. Seriously. There are people who contain emotions so good, they’re having a hard time releasing it, and I can say listening to music that can make you cry helps a lot in reducing the burden you have in your heart. Making a playlist will do, too. Just a friendly reminder though, try to stay away from cheesy love songs. Yeah, you’ll cry, but that’s a different story, it’s not the “healthy” cry I’m suggesting. Believe me, I’ve been there. Also, it is important to listen to empowering songs. Songs that will give you confidence or probably will make you feel you’re the boss and you shouldn’t care about the past. Be the ring leader of your own circus and choose the perfect song to start and empower your day.

Third, make yourself busy, invest in your hobbies.
Very cliché, yes. But it is true. It helps a lot. Divert your mind. Instead of staring in blank space, and be confined in the corners of your room, stand up and do something. I know, it is hard to find inspiration. But you have to do this for yourself. It is hard at first, but once you set this as a goal for yourself, the next thing you know, your hobby becomes a habit and your heart’s desires are fulfilled, bringing happiness to your life. At least you’ll see that for once in your life, you won’t need other people to make you happy. Only you can support and help yourself. And little by little, as you keep yourself preoccupied, you’ll just realize that the pain is diminishing, or in the long run, it’s all gone and you’re left with endless opportunities because of the dedication you have with the things you love. May it be with photography, writing, charity work, shopping, travelling, or whatever. Spend time and be productive. The world is a big place and there are still a lot more things to discover around you and yourself.

Fourth, have more time with family and friends.
This vary in some cases. There are people who aren’t close with their families, or maybe there are some who doesn’t have a lot of friends (I feel you), but you’ll get the point. Your family will always be there for you, that is one of the revelations I had in my life. I’ve neglected my family then I realized, as people leave in my life, they’re the only ones staying. Not just because they have no choice, but they are meant to be there no matter what. It is like a message to our faces that no matter what we do we can’t get rid of them. Remember, as you grow old, your parents and siblings grow old, too. During heartbreak, this is the best time to make it up with family members, invest time with them. people will leave you, but your family will always be there. Same as with your friends. They have this belief that when someone starts to get a “love life”, they tend to forget friends. Always remember that friends are like second family. Whether you have love life or none, they are just one call away, and they are always there to listen to your dumbest jokes, to your dumbest problems. Yes you can still socialize when you are heart-broken, try to meet new people, too. When you invest time in your hobbies, there will be times you get to meet new people along the way. Don’t be scared to let people enter your life, as they say, as people leave, new people will come. But don’t be too overwhelmed, control yourself. You meet people not to replace what was broken, rather to expand your social network.

Fifth, and the last one, be independent and liberated.
Yes, it is important to socialize, but also, it is your priority to do things your way. Start doing things alone, not because you are a loner, but because you are on the process of healing. As I mentioned, you don’t need others to complete you, you have to be independent and prove to yourself you can do things on your own. Be free from the need of being accepted by the society. You have to accept yourself first, accept your abilities and capabilities. Show the world you can walk using your own feet, and not being dependent to others. You don’t need a man, or a woman, to complete you. You have your friends, your family, and yourself, and that is enough. How can you love others if you don’t know how to love yourself? Start taking care of yourself and be a better version of you. Maybe, the reason you experienced pain is to remind you that there is something wrong in your life and you need it corrected, and that starts within you. Change, be positive and be a good influence for others.

               I’m not saying that this formula I have is the most effective, but rather this is a stepping stone. There is no perfect way to overcome heartbreak and pass the moving on stage. Some people have longer moving on periods, it takes them years, but for some just weeks or months, good for them. But there is no instant answer to heartbreak, it all takes hard work, patience and perseverance. These steps may work for you, or may not, but at least you tried. Always remember, it is your purpose that matters, do it for yourself, not to brag or show people how “better” you are at moving on.

               Aside from change, pain is also constant in this world. It’s inevitable. No one can say when it will happen, or how long you have to endure, but what’s important is your attitude towards it. Being in pain makes us weak, that’s why it is important to fix ourselves from the inside, because our selves are also our internal support. How can people help you if you yourself don’t want to help yourself? It is never too late to be happy again. There are a million reasons to move on and have a better life, and it starts today. The world is cruel, it’s true, and the future is vague, very unpredictable, but as long as you have a strong heart, you will survive. I tell you my friend, the ultimate secret of moving on and enduring heartbreak, is being in pain everyday. And once you learn to manipulate pain, you, my friend, are a survivor.

Miriam: “I Shall Return…”

Stupid Is Forevermore

           When I woke up this morning, I normally check my Facebook. Not to chat or stalk, but just to make sure my mind is awake. You know that feeling when you wake up, but you know deep inside you’re still asleep, right? That’s an inner struggle, and it’s a risk if you close your eyes. That’s why I choose to keep my eyes busy with facebook (but sometimes it consumes 2 hours of my time hehe). Kidding aside, instead of fun and colorful stories shown on my news feed, it was filled with black and red photos of Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago, apparently she has passed away.

           Among the photos that went viral, this one I attached in my blog struck me a lot (I don’t own the photo). She knew she was gonna die, but she wanted it to be classy and full of angst up to the last-minute. I know she fought real hard, she’s the most badass fighter I know. Honestly, I don’t know her works, her achievements, I can not win in a debate on why Miriam is an icon in the political history of the Philippines, but all I know is, she is influential, hard-working and a mother to this country.

           When I was young, the memory I had about Miriam is very negative. I actually hated her. I remember her fighting the presidency against Joseph Ejercito Estrada, and she lost. I didn’t like her because she was loud, she seemed crazy and, as a child, I though she seemed not fit for presidency. She was also a very popular senator and I was wondering why. She was making headlines for making controversial one-liners. She was aggressive, that was the biggest thing I know about her. My perspective changed when her son died. I saw a mother mourning for the loss of her child. People were still scrutinizing her, and I felt her pain, I thought she didn’t deserve all this pain she was experiencing. She had my heart at that moment. And ever since, when I was growing up, I realized that what she was fighting for and her attitude was necessary to change the country and to shape this generation. She was on the right track all along. And when she ran for presidency this year 2015, I fought with her. I promoted her so much I had her face on my locker so everyone passing by would see her. Her face was attached on my ID so she was always visible, I was always talking about her and promoting her, because she was an underdog, she was behind her colleagues. But I didn’t lose hope because I knew the youth was with her, and the youth wanted a better tomorrow. Unfortunately she lost with now President Rodrigo Duterte, but she continued the battle with her health. She never stopped, she was a true fighter.

           It was a long journey for her, it was colorful and bloody at the same time. She inspired me not just about politics, but about life in general. She taught me how to be strong, despite the criticisms she had. She taught me how to be firm even when the world was against her. She taught me how to fight for what I believed in even though no one wanted to support her. She taught me that true love isn’t only for the youth, but is also for the elders, and that I should choose someone who will love me unconditionally. She also taught me to be positive despite of the darkness around, that I should find the light that I will use, not only to guide me, but to guide the people around me, influencing not just a society, not just a generation but a country, as big as the Philippines.

           The Iron Lady of Asia is no more, but her legacy will live forever. It is sad that we do not have her anymore, but I am happy because she will never have to be in pain again in this world, and, I know, she is now in heaven with her beloved son. I haven’t been as patriotic as she has been, but she enlightened me that I fight for mycountry and to do what is right. The Philippines has not just lost a president-that-got-away, a great senator, or a great woman, rather we lost a mother, a mother that the Philippines could have been with, nurturing us, loving us and fighting for us. There will never be another MDS. I hope and pray that her legacy will continue and the next generation will stand up and be guided by the MDS in all of us. Yes she will return, not in physical form, but rather the fire that she planted in all of us will soon grow, and each of us will be a torch this country needs to be directed in the path that she started. It is never the end, rather a beginning of a revolution, an MDS revolution!